Ellen in Paraguay

I got told twice this week that I looked like I was getting fatter. I actually don’t think it’s true and I know at least one of them meant it as a compliment, but it has severely injured my self-esteem nonetheless. Besides my self-loathing for eating too many tortillas and still biting my nails, everything else is going great. The school Christmas program was really cute. I was impressed with how all-out they went with the set and costumes, but then the performances were all on CD and the kids just acted it out as it played, but they did a great job and it was very entertaining. My favourite part of the evening though was observing all the Paraguayan mothers ordering about their kids and taking pictures in their high-heels and low-cut tops.

It was also a very special weekend at church. Last night there were testimonies. I got my friend Carolina to write hers out and I translated it so I could know her story. She started coming to church a few months ago because she was friends with the school librarian. I wish I could have understood some of the other testimonies too. 3 of the people baptized were middle-aged woman, there was one other girl my age, and then two guys my age. One of them, Adilson, has been in and out of jail since he was 14. He’d always go for the winter. He killed a few guys too. I’m not sure if that’s what he was in jail for, or if it happened while he was in jail, because the prison system here is terrible. Apparently the inmates all have knives and some even have guns. Our church has a prison ministry and my friend Juan says that he has been threatened with a knife in the prison before…I don’t exactly feel called to that church ministry right now, heh heh. But anyways, I don’t understand Adilson very well because he speaks really fast and I think Portuguese is his first language, but I think he really brings a lot of life into the church. He also does the gardening.

Edson is a week and a half old and already well-adjusted; today in church we had a dedication and he let out a perfectly cute little cry at the most opportune moment near the end of the prayer, what a dramatista (might be a Spanish word. A person who likes sports is a deportista, and person who jokes around is a bromista, and so on). I really like him a lot, and I sure had my fill of cute kids today because I went to a friend’s house for lunch that also lives with cute kids. I get invited to someone’s house for lunch every Sunday, sometimes I even have to choose where to go because of multiple invites. Continuing my observation of family life, Maria Teresa is a single woman who lives with her sister who has two kids, and the grandma also lives with them. Her job is reupholstering cars, but in January she wants to take 2 weeks off and go visit her brother in Bueno Aires, 14 hours away, and she asked me to go with her!! The only problem is she might have too much work to do, so I may have to become an apprentice and help her, while at the same time practicing my Spanish…we have a mutually beneficial relationship. People really like for me to teach them English as well. Especially when I watch a dubbed movie, I feel very privileged to have English as my mother tongue.

Today I watched “A River Runs Through it” for the third time in two weeks, but this evening it was in Spanish with no subtitles. I was watching solely for educational purposes but it turned out to be very inspiring. Besides the gorgeous Montana scenery (montaña means mountain in Spanish by the way), one of the themes is about helping others who need help, especially those closest to you. At the end one of the characters is giving a sermon about how we want to help them, but often we can’t, “sometimes because we don’t know what to offer, and other times because they won’t receive our help. And so those who we love elude us. But even so, we can still love them… we can love completely, without complete understanding.” I’m not so sure that merited quotation marks, it is a very loose paraphrase of the Spanish, but the thought has encouraged me greatly. I cried for a second time today, because I was supposed to talk to some of my family members on the phone and we weren’t able to and it left me very disappointed. At the same time, I had a great day with all the people at church and with my roommates when I came home, and I know that even though I don’t understand their language or share their cultural knowledge, I can still love them. And they love me, even though my accent is ridiculous and I conjugate my verbs all wrong and I conflagrate the words for “ball” and “chicken” to try and say “skirt.” By the way, as another one of my exercises in humility, this week I used the word “fighted” and said “arrove” in place of “arrived.” Just a warning in case you start wondering the writing in my blogs starts to get weirder, that happens when you are learning another language I guess. In closing, I highly recommend “A River Runs Through it,” but watch it during the summer, because it makes you want to go fishing. Next week I have more to say about baptism.

Written on November 25, 2006

As promised, we celebrated American Thanksgiving at Oscar and Karen’s house on Thursday. It was the first time Karen ever made a turkey in Paraguay…just for me! But my favourite festive food by far is the stuffing, and I was not disappointed. Because we didn’t have much room in the oven, Karen creatively baked the extra stuffing in squash halves; not only did it taste great but the dish looked beautiful, very thanksgiving-ish. I had a lot of time that day to meditate on all the things I had to be thankful for, and I ended up composing this prayer in Spanish. I post it here for you to read not only because it is very telling of the things that I am happy to have here, but also so I can brag about how well I can write in Spanish, after only two months!

Dios Padre, que hizo los cielos y tierra, y nuestro creador,

tú nos diste vida, y nos das todas las cosas en abundancia para que las disfrutemos. Gracias por todas las cosas buenas de nuestra vida: la comida rica, las camas cómodos, las casas y patios, la seguridad, los cuerpos fuertes y saludables, el sol, la lluvia refrescante, los árboles de mangos, los niños felices, los bebes tranquilos, Edson, los libros y la capacidad de leer, las heladeras y las ollas especiales, una iglesia cariñosa, los amigos quienes nos invitan a sus casas para comer, las deportes, las siestas, el Internet, la música, el ajedrez, las cámaras, el tereré, los ventiladores, las duchas, los zapatillas, los hospitales, los supermercados, los cabinas, y los autos. Reconocemos que todas de esas cosas son regalos de tí y todo es creado por tí es bueno cuando lo recibimos con acción de gracias.

Perdónanos por olvidar a darte las gracias. Perdónanos por quejarnos a veces y codiciar. Ayúdanos a hacer el bien, ser ricos en buenas obras, dadivosos, generosos, y vivir con gratitud.

Señor, esta comida representa que tenemos y nuestra gratitud. Y cuando acabamos de comer y nuestras panzas están satisfechas, que sea un símbolo de cómo estamos satisfechos completamente por tu amor. Además, damos gracias por bendecirnos con toda bendición espiritual en los lugares celestiales in Cristo. Aun si parece como no tenemos nada, pido que dijéramos aun así:

“Aunque la higuera no florezca,

Ni en las vides hay frutos,

Aunque falte el producto del olivo,

Y los labrados no den mantenimiento,

Y las ovejas sean quitadas de la majada,

Y no haya vacas en los corrales;

Con todo, yo me alegraré en Jehová,

Y me gozaré en el Dios de me salvación”

Father God, who created the heavens and the earth, and our creator,

You breathed life into us, and you richly provide us with all things to enjoy.

Thank you for all the good things in our lives: good food, comfortable beds, houses and yards, safety, strong and healthy bodies, the sun and the refreshing rain, mango trees, happy children and tranquil babies, Edson, books and the capacity to read, refrigerators and special pots, a loving church and friends who invite us over for meals, sports, naps, the internet, music, chess, cameras, tereré, fans, showers, flip-flops, hospitals, supermarkets, neighbourhood places where you can go and make phone calls or use the internet, and cars. We recognize that all these things are gifts from you, and that everything you created is good and to be with thanksgiving.

Forgive us for forgetting to give you thanks. Forgive us for sometimes complaining and for coveting. Help us to do good, to be rich in good works, generous, willing to share and to live lives of gratitude.

Lord, this food represents the abundance that we have and are thankful for. When we finish eating and our appetites are satisfied, let it be a symbol of how we are completely satisfied by your love. Most of all, we give thanks that you have blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, through Christ. And even if it seems like we have nothing, I ask that we would still say:

“Though the fig tree does not bud

and there is no fruit on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will triumph in Yahweh;

I will rejoice in the God of my salvation!”

Scripture references:

1 Timothy 4:4, 6:17-18; Ephesians 1:3; Habakkuk 3:17-18

here are some of the little monkeys from the school. Aren't they cute?? This tree is only 4 years old, same age as the school building which you can kind of see in the background.

So this picture is a little silly, but at least you get to see Ben and Vivi who are engaged to be married 3 days before christmas, and in this picture, "engaged" in a favourite paraguayan past-time.

HEY LOOK! it's a picture of my house. I think this picture is extremely flattering. It was taken underneath a mango tree and usually there are over-ripe mangos littered all over the yard. To the left is a shallow pool which is becoming a giant aquarium with all kinds of foul-smelling things in it. It is a good representation of Paraguay - at one and the same time full of natural beauty but severly unkempt.

I dedicate this entry to my friend Scott who has faithfully read my blog and responded with interesting comments. He asked what view of the Bible the people here take. Obviously I only really know about my church and even then it will full of generalizations, but I present to you my observations and a few tidbits of some people’s religious views. The first thing I want to say is that regardless of what the people believe on certain issues, I have definitely experienced love and fellowship being with them. I like going to church and I like spending lots of the time being with them and going over to people’s houses for meals or just to visit. The church here has had its share of problems like any other church, Karen has told me, but they work through them. And I think the church loving each other as family is more important than any doctrinal issue. Warning: I am working on a handbook for North Americans who want to come here for short-term missions, and one of the points I was working on today was not being critical, especially when writing home, but I think what I want to write next is important for you to be able to understand the evangelical church here. (I will post a copy of the handbook when it’s slightly more complete and ask for your feedback). The first thing I noticed when I walked into the “templo” (the people are the church, and the building they call the temple), was the stained glass window that depicted, what else? the Bible. Well, it’s not REALLY a stained glass window; similar, but the stained glass part is missing and it’s more of a hole in the wall with the metal outline of a Bible. Honestly I was a little worried to see a Bible at the front of the church, as opposed to a cross. After all, the Bible is not the center of our worship, it tells us about the One Whom we worship. The Cross is, in my mind, a much better symbol of the central message of Christianity, representing the extent to which Christ was willing to suffer out of love for us. I think the reason behind it is that the evangelical church here feels a lot of pressure to counteract the Catholic Church. I know someone who stopped wearing a cross on her neck because someone asked her if she was Catholic. Another family I know has a very pious elderly mother who is very involved at her Catholic Church, but they are sure she is unsaved. On the other hand, the ladies in the mother’s bible study told her not to convert to the religion of her daughters because then she won’t be saved! A very nice family but what a bunch of needless tension. Another teacher at the church today was telling me how horrible it is that Catholics recite prayers. And I’ve also read tracts that are more anti-catholic propaganda than actual presentations of the gospel. So I think the Church on both sides is suffering from a lack of understanding. Our church (sorry, I mean, our temple) can’t even have a cross, the primary symbol of the Christian religion, because it’s considered too Catholic. I’m guessing that is also why we call our church building a temple, in contrast to the nicer-looking Catholic churches (at least no one will ever be tempted to worship our building!) To me some of the anti-catholicism causes a bit of a watering-down of the Gospel.

Church starts at 8:30 in the morning, but is finished by 10, so we spend tons of time just hanging out with each other on Sundays. Sundays have always been my favourite (even when I had to ride to church in the same vehicle with my dad and his crazy driving), but now they enchant/charm me (a very literal translation of the Spanish way of saying you love something, “me encanata”). In church I like to sit by my friend Laura who translates a few of the key points for me or writes notes in Spanish which I can then read. And the rest of the time I make up a sermon in my own head based on the scripture. The sermons are fairly simple and easy for me to follow. Mostly it is a lot of words of exhortation about the usual: being separate from the world, needing faith, not worrying, etc. I really liked one sermon on the night that we had communion about how Christians are to love each other. The people pray and preach with lots of passion and emotion and EMphasis and loudly.

Anyways, the people definitely would say that the Bible is their main authority and they try to live their lives by it. More than a lot of direct Bible reading though, it seems like devotional books are the big thing here. Both my roommates get up early and read devotional books every morning. We also have devotionals with the teachers every morning, and 90% of the time the teacher will read from his or her daily devotional. Max Lucado is HUGE here, but I’ve also met two really big Benny Hinn fans. Franklin Graham came to Asunción a year ago and they still talk about him. Last Saturday we played a trivia game at church which included NT and OT categories, and the people seemed to know quite a bit. Oh I have to stray from my topic to tell a funny story about that. They were splitting up the teams into “casada” and “no casada” which means married and single. I left to go to the opposite side of the one I was on, saying to my neighbor “no estoy cansada,” by which I meant that I was not tired, because I didn’t really hear the instructions right. Thankfully I ended up on the singles’ side. I am glad I had taken a nap before church and didn’t feel tired that night, otherwise I would have intended to stay on the “casada” side and been somewhat avergonzala (embarrassed-a word I use a lot to describe how I feel). Anyways, my team got 400 points for me knowing the opening words of Isaiah’s call, even though I couldn’t say it in Spanish.

And then this past Saturday night we had La Noche de los Talentos (a talent show). The church really has a lot of young people and it was great to see them organize such an event. I made a cameo appearance as a ballet dancer in the youth group skit, which I have to say was the most entertaining church skit I have ever seen. And we had it outside in the perfect weather and ate empanadas together afterwards and it was just really fun. I actually have a lot more I could write about this week, but since this is already terribly long I’ll try to remember for next week. I’m going to be celebrating American Thanksgiving this week at Oscar and Karen’s. We might have to take the oven outside on the patio to cook the turkey if it’s too hot. Haha!

Yesterday I got to hold a one-day old baby. He belongs to Oscar and Karen and he was three weeks early, but he’s just great. He doesn’t look funny or scrunched up at all; his head is a nice shape and the only weird thing about him are how his feet cock back like he was doing leg presses in the womb. But that’s good because it means he wants to have strong quads in order to be a soccer player. I snickered when I kept hearing people use the Spanish word for work “trabajando” to describe what Karen went through to have him, but then I remembered what “labor” means and I felt very silly. In fact, I feel so dumb that I am considering deleting that terribly embarrassing tidbit, but I will let it be just to show how learning other languages can help you understand your native tongue better. Anyways, Karen was meant to be a missionary. She had that baby like a pro and she’s probably back on her feet and baking a cake and nursing the baby at the same time or going to school board meetings. The doctor said he looked like an Arab just like Oscar!?! but the nurse said he looks german because of his cheeks. Oh, by the way his name is Edson. It’s a good name because it’s pronounced the same in both languages , it’s kinda original, it’s a town in Alberta, and it’s the name I was rooting for (they were also considering “Jonathon”).

Things are definitely winding up at school. We are finishing exams and preparing for the Christmas program at the end of November. On days like today one is really glad to be laying in her room under the fan writing a blog and not in class with 20 sweaty kids; Ben said it was 36 degrees at 7 o’clock last night, plus there were a bazillion mosquitoes out. By the way, if you don’t want me to have to be stuffed into a class with 40 kids next year, you can give money so for building the addition to the school. It’s really easy: just send money to the ACC missionary foundation for the “Paraguay School.” And then I’ll help build it… it’s a good deal, free labor!!

I realized this week I have NO CLUE what is going on in the rest of the world. I haven’t so much as glanced at a newspaper (sorry Auntie Barb, I think I broke my promise to try and stay globally informed). I want everyone who reads my blog to stop right now and think about how thankful you are that you can pick up a newspaper or turn the radio on or look on the internet and learn what’s going on. And most of all that you can be politically informed. The political process here is utterly anti-intellectual and corrupt, so Ben tells me. But I had already observed the campaign vehicles driving around with HUGE speakers blasting music (how does this get people to vote??), and heard the fireworks at night, and seen the volunteers or campaign people or whatever sitting around their posters and drinking beer. It’s very strange. The funny thing is that the voters are fairly uninformed, but everybody votes – it’s illegal to even have church on the Sunday that they have elections. Sorry that everything I know about Paraguayan politics so far are bad. I was reading a poster that said something like “stop the corruption, stop the lies,” and Karen just scoffed and said “yeah right.” Sad.

I dedicate this entry to Ben’s mom, who I hear has been appreciating my blog. I tried to make it very descriptive and specific just for you, Lily. I just started to read the comments so I want people to write good comments and ask questions to keep my blog exciting, and maybe you will get special mention! Also, it’s not like I miss this at all, but there aren’t doorknobs in Paraguay, just handles. Just something different.

I realized this week that I am basically living my dream life. I live in a near perfect climate (warm and sunny most days, though I also enjoy the rain, and I discovered that the heat can never last forever). This week was most glorious in terms of weather. I have a well-defined sandal tan on my feet. In terms of other physical needs, I have absolutely everything I need including delicious food everyday, but I definitely live simply and don’t have an excessive amount of material possessions to be concerned with. I don’t need a car because my church and work and shopping and friends are all within about 10 minutes or less of walking distance from my house. So I get exercise from walking and I’ve also obtained my own ”personal trainer” one night a week who teaches me soccer workouts. It works out well since people have advised me against jogging alone in the neighbourhood. Plus there are sports at the church at least 3 nights a week.

I already have many friends from church; there are lots of people that I look forward to getting to know better, but I also have a few kids that I am already fairly close to. Last weekend I got to sleep over at a friend’s house. I really like visiting people here and seeing what their houses and families are like. So far, I’ve only been to two households where there was no extended family living together; Karen told me they don’t really have nursing homes here and mostly everyone takes care of their aging parents. Siblings often continue to live together even after one gets married, and if families don’t live together they might live a block or two away from each other. It is a very interesting situation at Carolina’s house where I was: her brother left his wife and went to Spain but the sister-in-law still lives with her ex-husband’s family, except for Carolina’s mom, who lives in New York. Carolina and I have started a tradition of eating popcorn for dinner before church on Wednesday nights. She is rather new to the church and is getting baptized this month, and she is a very fun girl.

I still haven’t gotten bored with things here. Every time I go to the grocery it is an adventure. Classes finished last Friday, but the students still have exams in the morning and I go and study Spanish or do odd jobs and then talk with the kids when they finish writing their exams. I think I have acquired some excellent phraseology with so much influence from kids, especially from the junior high kids, and of course people always think it’s very funny when I speak really cool. I am also helping Karen with a manual for short-term missionaries, and of course starting to study lessons for teaching next year. So I feel like I have things to do and that I am learning a lot. I also know that my life has purpose, even just to hang out with the kids at school and do things for my roommates feels significant, but mostly because I am needed at the school to teach. But right now for the summer it will not be really busy and so I have more time just to be alone and read a lot and enjoy being alive…very refreshing after 5 years of school. I do have to make certain sacrifices though; I noticed today that my sandal-tanned feet do not feel as soft as they once were (an understatement) and are pretty much in a constant state of uncleanness. I can’t really be normally chatty self, for example when we play sports I don’t really cheer that much, and the one time I did say something that I knew how to say, it came out as trash talk “en tu cara!” (in your face), and then I find it difficult to adequately apologize or else my apology sounds like I accidentally ran them over with my car or something terrible. And if I do something really dumb I can’t explain my way out of it. So I am glad that I can communicate well through my blog, and I enjoy trying to help you understand what life is like here. Of course, I also appreciate hearing about what is going on at home too!!

Excuse me, I am using a spanish keyboard now so the punctuation might be a little off until i get used to it. All of the directions on the screen are also in spanish, so I hope I post this correctly. I am at a cabina where it costs me about 60 cents a minute to use the internet...really painfully slow dial-up, but internet nonetheless and it is only a block from my house. I have been doing a lot of the grocery shopping all by myself and I even order meat from the deli and ask where things are, but I admit I was a little timid to come and ask to use the internet... Which I now regret, because it was so easy! Paraguay is the best place in the world to come to and learn, because the people are so kind and patient, and I hear in Argentina every talks really fast. But yesterday a friend gave me some desert that her brother had brought from Argentina, and it was delicious! On Sunday I celebrated my one-month anniversary with Paraguay. I cannot believe how fast it went by! But it was encouraging because over the past 3 days many people how told me how impressed they are with my speaking abilities. Right now if I have a dictionary I can read okay, but I am still having a very hard time putting together whole phrases when people are speaking to me (Thank you for giving me that dictionary, Larissa, it comes in handy all the time when communicatiing with my roomates, and reading recipies and I take it to the grocery store when I need to buy spices). You would not believe how many cognantes there are between spanish and english; you can say words such as inaugural, principle, enthusiastic, apathetic, optimistic, allergic, or almost anything english word with more than 3 syllables with an accent, and people will understand you.
But i have been finding other ways to communicate with people besides words. It is too hot to do physical activity during the day most days, but a few evenings a week I go to what used to be a university campus only a few blocks from my house with some friends from church. We run laps on the track and find people to play sports with. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I am probably the best basketball player in all of Paraguay. No one really understands the rules very well, and we were playing with a volleyball, but it is still fun anyways.
I shouldnt be complaining about the heat, because we had four days of rain this week and I actually had to use a blanket the last two nights. I woke up this morning and thought it must be 5 degress outside, but it was 20!! It felt so cold though, from all the humidity I guess. Anyways, enough about the weather. All of the english exams are this week, and Ben and I are having to find ways to keep the kids entertained (i.e. somewhat behaving themselves, i.e. not killing each other and destroying the classroom. Ben says to pray that they take professional wrestling off the TV here). Since Karen is going to have her baby any day now, i am also teaching the grade one and kindergarten classes all by myself. I laugh when I think of myself trying to explain the lyrics of "jingle bells"to a bunch of 5-year olds who have never seen snow in all their lives.
Tonight is prayer meeting at church. I told my mom that if anyone thinks church is boring, they should try sitting through a one hour long sermon (not including 2 lengthy prayers) in a lnaguage they don{t understand. I do enjoy the singing though and Ben and Vivi say when I can say the words better they want me to sing up front with them. we'll see. People here don{t really know how to sing very well, but that's okay because next year Ben is going to start a school choir and I'm really looking forward to it. Next week I get to be in a musical skit for church where Ben and I are going to do interpretive dance. Since I can come here all the time now, I'll save more things to write about for later. I watched a movie on thomas edison (in english) with the kids, in which the inventor says he wants to invent things for the betterment of mankind, so Ive translated it (with Bens help) into a inspirational spanish slogan "para el mejoramiento de la humanidad" and I try to do something in this vein every day. Today it was not yelling at the kids when they were driving me nuts in the classroom, and now I;m going to help my friend study for her english exam. Chao!